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Who do I have to sleep with…. (NSFW).. and um, Clown. I think.
to get some damn Horseradish Cheese?! Seriously. I am serious, who? I have no idea what I’m going to write about, and yet I can already tell I am going to need to add a NSFW disclaimer. Although.....
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Wonderful Team Membership & Rose of kindness
Thank you Belsbror for nominating me for the Wonderful Team Membership Award. It’s taken me a while to address it, but that doesn’t mean I’m not honored. I’ve hit a lot of assholes and pothole along...
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Out with the Mush, in with the Orgy! (Disney Boobs = NSFW)
Monster Orgy that is. Don’t worry, you’ll understand in a few. . . My last post was entirely too mushy for my taste. I’m so glad beyondpaisley help me out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSaex1lLSsI...
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STOP HUMPING MY FRIGGEN LEG.
So, while in the Post Office, standing in line with about 15 people in front on me, I feel and hear a whisper in my ear “you need to move forward”. Now this guy was so close to me, he was just about...
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You better watch it, or she’ll deck you.
(For the record, I haven’t actually decked anyone in a long time. I think.) Do you remember the Humpy-the-Post-office-Guy? (if not, click here) Wellllll……I went into the post office the other day....
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WHAT?!! (Warning post made in a facility that may contain clowns) *EDIT
It’s August! Yep it is, do you know know what that means?! OCTOBER IS ALMOST HERE. Gosh I love that month. HOWEVER. Did you know that August contains National Clown Week? WHAT? I sure as hell didn’t,...
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Just add it to the list.
So you guys know the Universe and I have been fighting. In Feb I spent a week in the ICU with Drs telling me that my significant other had lost too much oxygen, they weren’t sure there was any brain...
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I drink my owl from the back
That’s right. I bought myself an owl cup. Some people buy cars, jewelry, hookers. Me, I bought myself an Owl mug to the tune of my divorce. Which really, has to be sipped from the back, or things get...
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So screwed without me
The washer (that is not coming with me when I move), decided to protest by doing this: Yeah, that would be nasty water that wouldn’t drain. Sigh. Annnnnnd even though technically it’s now my Ex’s...
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Homeless
So, my ex came back from vacation yesterday. This morning, demanded that I leave the house by tonight. TONIGHT. That was not the plan, and since I work from my home office. I am out of work until I...
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Riding out the storm on Grandma’s couch.
Well, I’m still here. Lol. I’m not working b/c my Ex took that away from me, and I am just counting down the days till November 11th. However now that I am not working – I am finding all this great...
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Hey Asshole, its called a divorce for a reason.
Im never getting legally married again. Ever. Jackhole announced removal of responsibility from our joint bank account, and cell phone. Gets new cell phone, but doesnt remove name from the bank...
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Ripples.
Took my son to the Zoo for Trick or Treating yesterday. He loved it. He went as Captain America. I went as the Wicked Bitch that I am. Ha. Today we went to one of the Bays. We brought lunch and...
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Accidental Art installation By Gram
Today Sucked. However when I came home from picking up my child I opened the door to the smell of burning plastic. Which, really, can only mean two things: 1. Grams gotten into the Crack again, or 2....
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I think a Tranquilizer is in order
(“I think a Tranquilizer is in order.” – Grams, about an hour ago.) Helllllloooooo People! I am not dead! Here I am! ( I think?) Thank you to those who have checked up on me! I am alright. There’s been...
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Today is the Day Of Monsters
Today marks the one year anniversary of me and PTSD. We have been together for a full year now. I’d love to break up but, it just doesn’t seem possible. Today, a year ago I found myself clutching the...
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Stick a fork in the Bitch
She’s done. Last week I went to my divorce hearing. What an eye opener that was. I showed up in a dress suit, and, you know, I showered. My Ex showed up in jean, and a sweater. My MIL – jeans, and a...
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I name you Pansy.
To be told several weeks ago that I have “PTSD medically proven to be comparable to soldiers coming home from Afghanistan” is just flipping ridiculous to hear. I KNOW that PTSD doesn’t just happen to...
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Accidental Social Experiment
I don’t believe in being wasteful. So, it shouldn’t be a surprise that from time to time I use my son’s old, raggedy ass, kick you in the face Bright Orange school bag (if you knew me, you would know...
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Origami to the face
This new medication has been knocking me on my ass. Not only is it causing a ruckus in my stomach (which is flippin unheard of as I live on meds and coffee all day long, no problem), I have been...
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